Supporting someone you care about
If someone has trusted you with their experience, that trust is a gift. You don't need perfect words — presence, patience and belief matter more than anything.
Gentle Guidance
Explore each topic for a few practical suggestions on how to support survivors of gender-based violence. Every person and situation is different — take what feels right for you and the person you're supporting.
How to Listen
- Give them your full attention. Put your phone away and allow them space to speak.
- Let them share as much or as little as they want. Avoid pressing them for details.
- Believe what they tell you. You do not need to investigate, question or verify their experience.
- Give them time. They may not be ready to talk about everything at once.
- Listen without judging, blaming or comparing their experience with someone else's.
What to Say
- “I believe you.” and “This is not your fault.” are powerful places to start.
- “Thank you for trusting me.” Acknowledges what it took to speak.
- “I'm here to listen.” Let them know you're there for them.
- “What would feel helpful right now?” Gives them the choice.
What Not to Say
- Avoid blame: “Why were you there?” or “Why didn't you leave?” Can make them feel responsible.
- Avoid doubt: “Are you sure that's what happened?” Can make them feel disbelieved.
- Avoid pressure: “You have to report it.” Takes the choice away from them.
- Avoid minimising: “It could have been worse.” Can feel dismissive and stop them from opening up.
Helping Someone Find Professional Support
- Offer options, not instructions. Share reliable resources and let them decide what feels right.
- Offer practical support, such as sitting with them while they explore services.
- If they want, offer to accompany them to a first appointment or help contact a service.
- Respect a “not yet”. Support works best when it's chosen, not assigned.
Respecting Their Choices
- A survivor may make decisions different from what you would choose, and that's okay.
- Respect their choices and give them space to select the support they need.
- Don't pressure them to report, confront someone or seek help before they're ready, unless there's an immediate safety concern.
- Keep what they share private and don't share their story without their permission.
- Check in gently and give them time to recover at their own pace.
Looking After Yourself While Supporting Someone
- Supporting someone can affect you too. Your feelings deserve care and support as well.
- Give yourself time to process your feelings and set healthy boundaries when needed.
- Take breaks when conversations become overwhelming.
- Remember that you cannot be responsible for someone’s entire recovery.
- Counsellors and support services can support you too. Reach out if you’re struggling.
You can share this resource
Sometimes the most helpful thing is simply leaving a door open — a link, a quiet "whenever you're ready".
මෙම සම්පත ප්රයෝජනවත්ද?
අත්යවශ්ය නැහැ සහ නිර්නාමිකයි — ගිණුමක් හෝ පුද්ගලික තොරතුරු අවශ්ය නැහැ.